I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
