Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
