but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
