Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize