To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I touched a dick in church today
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
