But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
