My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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