Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
