I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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