I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
