Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
