I wish I could punch you in the face.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
