Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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