exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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