I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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