You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
