dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
