I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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