So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
