my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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