Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i think i just lost a toe
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
