Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize