I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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