Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
