puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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