You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just had sex on a roof
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
