so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
