Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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