awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
