I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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