so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
