I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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