Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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