Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
