I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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