somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize