Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I met the friendliest cop last night
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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