Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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