I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
