It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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