I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
