If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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