he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
