My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
P.S. I can't hear my feet
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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