In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
