I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
