He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
