Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I skipped work to stalk him.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
