its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
