Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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