She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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