don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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