Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
