I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
