quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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