please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
