I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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