he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
