So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize