So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
