Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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