very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
