Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
i think my cat just said my name.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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