how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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