I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
