If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Life is so much better after having sex.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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