just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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