guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize