3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
