My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
