i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
