i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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