just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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