Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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