i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
