OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
